there's no i in team
by my destination
Summary: Anthology. Team7. "Teamwork is essential—it allows you to blame someone else." 06. The three team members and their tardy teacher, once again find themselves thrown in an unusual circumstance involving yet another ridiculous mission.
1. the heist

**title: **the heist

**pairings: **Team7 centric

**summary:** Kakashi emitted a heavy sigh. This was entirely hopeless. "Did you happen to steal my latest edition of _Icha Icha Paradise_?"

**rating: **K+

**disclaimer: **I do _not_ own the masterpiece known as Naruto... Like, duh.

**note:** This was before Sasuke went overload revenge and ditched Konoha for the Snake pedophille. When Team 7 were twelve and cute and uhm innocent.

**quote: "**Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." —Mark Twain

* * *

><p>"So," Kakashi drawled with a hint of irritation. "Which one of you <em>dearies<em> stole it?" Sakura tilt her pastel head to the right in mock innocence.

"Stole what Kakashi-sensei?" She asked, lips pursed and emerald orbs eyeing his covered mouth (tells of a lie). Kakashi's lone eye narrowed.

"I think you know what I'm talking about." His charcoal orb then flickered towards the other two members of Team 7. "Well," he continued.

"I don't know what you're blabing about Kakashi-sensei." Naruto declared waving his hands in front of his face, " maybe you should ask Sasuke-teme over here." He went on jerking his left thumb towards the brooding figure beside him.

"Sasuke," he tried. Sasuke's stoic image fixed on him.

"Hn,"

Kakashi emitted a heavy sigh. This was completely hopeless. "Did you happen to steal my latest edition of _Icha Icha Paradise_?" The Uchiha prodigy's face scrunched up in disgust.

"Hn, no."

"Well if no one will admit their guilt then all of you will be in for a servere punish—"

"Naruto did it," Sakura squeaked midway through his speech.

Naruto's eyed Sakura's face with a completely baffeld expression. "H-how could you Sakura-chan?" Sakura spared a guilty look in his direction. 'I'm sorry' she repeatedly kept mouthing back to him.

Kakashi Hatake observed the three team members before him. Usually he would take Sakura's word for it but— he glanced between Sasuke and Sakura. Somehow he felt all of the trio are in on the heist. "Did you act alone, Naruto?" Naruto nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"It was all me." He finally established, unruly blond head facing the few patches of pale-green grass.

"I helped out too." Sakura meekly whispered.

Ah, now this is teamwork. "What about Sasuke?" Kakashi asked.

Sakura spared a glance in said person's direction, "he wasn't part of it." The Uchiha scowled at this statement, looking between his two sulking teammates he decided to admit his own guilt too.

"Hn, I assisted in stealing the porn." He confirmed, aristocratic features still etched in a scowl. "What's our punishment?"

Naruto focused his determind cerclean orbs back on Kakashi. "Yeah old man, what are you gonna' make us do?" He scoffed, "whatever you put on us I know I'll beat the bastard over here." He declared jerking his thumb toward Sasuke.

"Tch, we'll see dead-last." The Uchiha retorted. Before the two rivals can go off a bickering spree and end up hurting themselves as well as others Sakura decided to intervene.

"So what_ are _you going to make us do?" She asked, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

The copy-nin chuckled beneath his navy blue mask. "Well, since you were all so _curious _about my _erotika_ _novel_—"

"Porn,"' Naruto hissed in Sakura's ear.

"—then I'm sure you wouldn't mind me telling you about the orgin of intercourse," he smirked amused by the expressions pasted onto their faces, "before I read you the complete series of _Icha Icha Paradise_.

* * *

><p><em>fin.<em>


	2. dogs

**title: **dogs

**pairings: **slight SasuSaku/Sasukecentric

**summary: **Yes _the _Uchiha prodigy who ranked as number one Rookie Genin _and_ as number one Academy ninja was— "Achoo," —allergic to; 'man's best friend'.

**rating: **K+

**disclamier:** Did you honestly think that I was Masashi Kishimoto? Good. And I also do _not_ own NOIR shampoo. You can thank that to _Bath & Body Works_.

**notes: **This was before Sasuke went power hungry and left Konoha for the transgender Snake. Also, I'd like to point out that in this fanfic Sasuke is allergic to canines.

**quote: ** "Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean." —Ryunosuke Satoro

* * *

><p>Sasuke Uchiha wasn't very fond of the <em>slobbery, hairy, smelly<em> creatures known as dogs. Yes _the _Uchiha prodigy who ranked as number one Rookie Genin _and _as number one Academy ninja was—

"Achoo,"

—allergic to, 'man's best friend'.

"Oi bastard, are you doing okay over there?" Naruto asked as he itched the top of his spiky blond head.

"I'm fine, idiot." He replied through grit teeth. The dumbass fumed at his comment.

"Jeez, calm down. You show concern over the guy and he repays you by acting like an ass..." He continued to complain while lathering _lavender vanilla _scented shampoo onto the _slobbery, hairy, smelly_ mutt.

Tch, a world where _dogs_ receive more pampering than us.

Currently the students of Team Kakashi were doing a surplus D-rank mission involving not one or even two _slobbery, hairy, smelly_ dogs but eight. For the entire day they had to tend to the canines deeds: brushing their _smelly_ mouths with their very own _electric toothbrushes_, catering gourmet food imported from the Land of Lightning, walking their hairy asses around the block _five _times and finally washing their _ugly, hairy, putrid _fur with name brand shampoos.

It was corrupt enough that he had to waste a perfectly valuable day of training to _serve _the _slobbery, hairy, rancid_ beasts _with_ his allergies. But no, Kami-sama apparently didn't think that was enough torture because the _slobbery, hairy, rancid_ flea-bags had to talk too.

"Hey, you've been dipping me in water for the past four minutes," the bronze coated bloodhound barked, "I'm wet enough so wash me."

_Do not strangle the flea-bag. Do not strangle the flea-bag. Do not strangle the_— he interrupted his own train of thoughts with a sneeze. Damn his allergies. He just hoped that Sakura or even Naruto wouldn't start voicing their worries for him again.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura cooed as she began to move closer to him.

Oh, yes, how could've he forgotten that Kami-sama just wasn't on his side today. Sasuke Uchiha had to refrain himself from _kindly telling her to get the hell out of his face_. "Hn,"

She stepped even _closer_ to his personal bubble. "Are you feeling okay?" She asked shyly while examining his red itchy eyes.

"I'm fine, Sakura." He replied with an edge in his tone. Dearly hoping that would drive her away. Sakura gently bit the outside of her _pink, shiny_— ugh. Just. No.

"Do you—" she timidly moved closer to his ear, "—have allergies?" She finished lowly.

_Oh no, she was going to use this information to blackmail him into going out with her. He knew he should have stayed home today and played sick from the very first second he heard that he was tending to the _slobbery, hairy, rancid _beasts._

"Here," she continued as she reached for her pouch pulling out a small vial filled halfway with what appeared to be white cream. "I'm allergic to dogs too and this takes away all the symptoms. Just smear some above your upper lip and on your hands." She concluded handing him the vival. He gingerly took the object from her dainty hands doing as he was told.

"Arigatou," he mumbled quietly.

"It's no problem, Sasuke-kun. You're my teammate and my friend." She smiled sincerely, "I'll be there for you no matter what." Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement. "So I uh guess I better head back and tend to my two dogs." Declared Sakura as she rose from where she was seated beside Sasuke and sauntered off from where she came.

Sasuke inwardly smirked at her retreating figure and then turned his back toward his own mutt who had been moaning about neglect in the background.

Tch, dogs.

"Shut up," he hissed at it while he was reaching for the shampoo. Barely glancing at the brand he drizzled it all over the flea-bag's brown fur. The mutt groaned in satisfaction.

"_Senji Lee's _Noir shampoo is my favorite scent."

"I don't car—" Sasuke stopped abruptly. Noir shampoo? He inhaled the mutts fur. Oh please Kami-sama don't let it be true he pleaded as the began to read the shampoo's label.

_NOIR a bold, exotic blend of black cardamom and white musk._

Sasuke Uchiha can scarcely hold back growl that came from his lips, "I USE THE SAME GODDAMN SHAMPOO!"

Oh, how he loathed _slobbery, hairy, smelly_ creatures known as dogs.

* * *

><p><em>fin.<em>

**A/N:** Please review I want to read your friendly, I hope, criticism. And don't be shy to give me new ideas for my next story. They just have to be sorta team related and fit between the range of K+ or K.


	3. so, yeah

**title:** so, yeah.

**summary: **o3. "So," Kakashi drawled, head still between the orange Icha Icha novel. "How did this happen?"

**words: **743

**theme: **team7

**pairings:** none.

**rating: **K+

**disclaimer:** I'll think of something witty later.

**authors note: **this is before Sasuke got jealous and became a more revenge obsessed asshole. Sakura's annoying in this and Naruto is a retard.

**author note2:** 11/10. Hopefully this is funny.

**author note3:** Thank God for spell check.

**quote:** "Oh can't you see, you belong to me." - Police

* * *

><p>Kakashi Hatake was amused.<p>

He was _very_ amused.

"So," Kakashi drawled, head still between the orange Icha Icha novel. "How did this happen?"

"How did what happen?" Sakura airily asked, pink head tilted at an angle and neon-green eyes wide open in an inquisitive stare.

The famous copy ninja momentarily lowered his obsession to only raise a lone eyebrow at her. She in turn had the gall to look surprised.

"Oh, you mean this little mess that occurred, while you," she paused for a second, thinking, "got yourself lost on the rode of life."

Kakashi Hatake emitted a sigh in exasperation. 'Little mess' was an understatement. For about a half a mile radius the entire area in between that was in shambles. Parts of deciduous trees littered the vicinity like hail after a severe thunderstorm. Large quantities of debris fell into piles of unsanitary hills, and a thick sheet of sooty ash covered the whole territory.

It was not a 'little mess,' quite the contrary, it was a disaster.

Icha Icha Paradise was placed back into his kunai pack. Things have now gone serious.

"What happened?" The customary humorous drawl that was usually laced in Kakashi's voice was completely lost to only be replaced with a businesslike tone.

This time it was the number one knucklehead that decided to voice his opinion. "Well," he rubbed the back of his spiky blond head, "it was all the Bastards fault!"

Kakashi was somehow not surprised by Naruto's accusation.

Said accused male didn't even reprimand him with a comment. Merely standing a few ways away from his other teammates with a stoic image pasted on his face.

" - I'm not joking when I say this Kakashi-sensei. Sasuke went absolutely psycho, he -"

At this point Sakura decided to interrupt him. Vocalizing her own thoughts of the matter. "Naruto isn't lying, Kakashi-sensei."

His charcoal orb widened at this. Even Sasuke's face looked a bit irked as well. It was extremely, _extremely _rare for Sakura to turn against Sasuke. Him being wrong was inconsequential, to her everything that Sasuke did was right. "So, from the information I just received, Sasuke," he made a motion with his hands at the destroyed area, "did all of that by himself?"

Sakura and Naruto both nodded eagerly at this. "But I don't think it was for no reason Kakashi-sensei," Naruto slyly enclosed a hand over him mouth, while scooting closer to silver-haired man. "I just think it's _that_ time of the month."

The sharingan users eyebrow twitched when he heard the last snippet of Naruto's conversation. "It was a competition."

"Ah, we finally have a reasonable reply." Kakashi said, nodding for Sasuke to elaborate.

Sasuke then released an aggravated sigh. He really didn't want to do this. "Me and Naruto wanted to see who could reach the top of the tree faster. I of course knew I was going to win, but I decided to humor him anyway."

" - and when _I _happened to win. Sasuke's ego - which we know is at least twice the size of the entire universe, wasn't able to handle that type of _physical suffering_ and -"

"Idiot, shut the hell up." Sasuke impassively replied.

"You shut the hell up, Bastard!" Naruto so _brilliantly _shot back, really Naruto where in the world do you come up with these comebacks?

As the infamous bickering continued on between the two rivals, Sakura decided that now was the time to make her planned move. "I bet this wouldn't have happened is you'd been here Kakashi-sensei."

He directed his lone eye at her. "What's your point."

"Well," Sakura nonchalantly shrugged, "think about how much would have to go out from your salary when people begin to complain that their scenery was so kindly by _your _students. Maybe if you were to come a _on time…_" She added as an afterthought.

That devious little minx.

"I'll come early next time." He surrendered.

_No he wouldn't._


	4. the stealth of a ninja

**title: **the stealth of a ninja. Part 1.  
><strong>words: <strong>677.  
><strong>theme: <strong>team7.  
><strong>rating: <strong>K+  
><strong>pairings: <strong>none.  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>not mine, nuff' said.

**authors note:**I'm not funny, Naruto is just stupid.  
><strong>authors note2: <strong>This is before Sasuke ran away with the Snake Pedophile.  
><strong>authors note3: <strong>Loosely based on _Naruto episode 101. _And I know this is extremely short but the next scene switches setting to them spying on Kakashi so…?

**summary: **04. "Naruto," Sakura sent him his daily you're-a-moron look, "that's a really bad idea."  
><strong>quote: <strong>"Why doesn't anyone want to take blame?" - Akon.

* * *

><p>Naruto was as bright as a flashlight - without any batteries.<p>

"Naruto," Sakura sent him his daily you're-a-moron look, "that's a really bad idea."

Said idiotic boy just shook his head in protest. "No, see Sakura the only way to know if Kakashi-sensei has any dirty secrets," he lowered his voice into a whisper, "is by spying on him."

He appeared to actually look like he accomplished something.

Che, as if.

"Naruto I - "

He hastily interrupted her. "Oh c'mon you guys, you can't tell me you're at least a _little bit_ curious as to what Kakashi does when he's late for us." Naruto held his thumb and forefinger a centimeter apart to emphasize his point.

Sakura was ready to relent. She was in fact _immensely _intrigued with his proposition but, she glanced at the item of her admiration, "What do you think Sasuke?"

The Uchiha prodigy scoffed, turning his head off to the side. "It's stupid. If that's all you're going to say Loser then I'm leaving." He turned on his heels, beginning to slowly saunter away to the opposite direction when -

"C'mon Teme, what if he has a secret girlfriend?"

Sasuke momentarily halted.

A chershire grin formed on Naruto's face. "Or maybe even a secret _boyfriend_."

This time Sasuke's body faced Naruto's direction. "I still think it's pointless." Yet he contradicted his own statement by walking back to his rival anyway.

Tch, boys and their prides.

"Okay," Naruto began once they were all huddled together, "how about we take turns following him. And report back to each other at the Ichiraku stand."

"I have a better plan."

"… Sasuke I don't understand why you can't just -" Sakura stopped his inane babbling with a clenched fist to the back of his head.

"Shut up Naruto! I want to hear what Sasuke-kun has to say." Her once deadly voice turned sugary-sweet when announcing herself to Sasuke. "What was that, Sasuke-kun?"

The Uchiha nodded, indicating he had heard her statement. "Instead, let's take different intervals on observing Kakashi, and then communicate our progress at a central point we can agree upon."

Naruto paused for an instant, trying to find all the words to express what he's feeling. "What the hell, Sasuke? That's my idea except worded differently!"

Oh, no. Sakura thought bitterly. Already feeling the onslaught of a _physical_ argument between her two boys coming.

"How about taking my idea for a change." She intervened. "If you both don't _shut the hell up this second_ I will bash _both_ of your heads in and then we'll see if you can even remember what your plans were in the first place!"

The boys stopped their incessant bickering, turning to face her with a dramatic irked expression on their features. "What?" They chorused together.

She pulled the couple by their ears, painfully dragging them along the gravel terrain. "You heard me. Now lets go and spy on Kakashi-sensei."


	5. finding Nemo

**title**; finding Nemo

**words: **1,181

**rating: **T

**pairings: **none.

**disclaimer: **no wit today. 2/24.

**authors note1: **if you disregard all the mistakes it isn't _too_ bad.

**authors note2**: Before Sasuke took a trip to land psycho.

**summary**: A journey on a rickety ship can evoke many buried emotions; some good, some bad. In this case, it was the latter.  
><strong>quote: <strong>"My beating heart belongs to you, I walked for miles till' I found you." –Green Day.

* * *

><p>A journey on a rickety ship can evoke many buried emotions; some good, some bad. In this case, it was the latter.<p>

The number-one-knuckle-head, otherwise known as Naruto, was heaving over the ship's worn brown edges. His tan hands soon became red from pressing too hard on the jagged pieces of wood sticking out of the poorly made structure.

"Oh, man," the idiot exclaimed, his pallor tinged with green. "When is this - this _torture_going to end!" he continued, voice slightly carrying a tone of desperation.

It was the masked ninja who answered him in return, "Naruto," Kakashi drawled, lone eye momentarily shifting its attention from the orange book to glance at Naruto, "must I remind you that _you_were the one who had suggested we take this mission?"

"I change my - oh God, I'm going to be sick," and with that statement, the-hokage-in-training leaned over the ships edge and hurled. Again.

Although the sky was a clear blue - not a single white billowy cloud in sight, the gray ocean was wild. Wave after wave rocked the ship's base, bringing all three team members, who were in a relatively good mood before the journey, to oblivion. Even the ever aloof Uchiha had his head nestled between his knees, trying to maintain some semblance of his dignity by not vomiting.

To Sasuke, sickness was a weakness.

"You got to let it all out Sasuke," remarked the blond-haired boy. "Trust me, you'll feel much better."

The Uchiha lifted his raven head to send Naruto his famous glare. "I'm not going to lower myself to _your_standards." then after one particularly harsh wave, he replaced his head back between his knees.

"You guys what about -" Sakura's cheeks momentarily inflated to hold back the bile from escaping her lips before she resumed her topic " - our mission?"

"Operation: Find Nemo! Yeah, _of course_ Sakura-chan! What do you think I do every time I look over the ships edge?" he raised both blond eyebrows at her, as if _she_was the one that was being absurd.

In response to that statement, Sasuke pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. Lethargically shaking his head from side to side at the level of Naruto's stupidity. However Sakura's anger erupted, "from the noises you were making I just _assumed_ that you were throwing up, but I should have _known_ that you - _of course_- were only searching for our clients lost fish!"

The idiot nodded solemnly, eyes wide and blue in understanding. "I can see how you've been mislead Sakura-chan. If you want to cry, I have a muscular shoulder available."

"I don't even know why I bother sometimes," she replied, chin tilted toward the sky, as if this were to give her any indication of an answer.

"Speaking about the mission," Kakashi's single black orb flickered toward his students. "Are you brats any closer to finding the Clown Fish?"

"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei–" before Naruto could continue his inane babbling Sasuke decided to give a logical response. He was tired of the bullshit they had to put up with. The entire concept of the mission was pointless and extreme. Their client, an elderly man with a spoiled granddaughter, had asked for the impossible: to find a specific fish in the sea. "You'll know it's Nemo when you see him," he had said.

Tch. What a piece of complete utter bullshit.

They were literally searching for a lost fish in the sea, and they weren't even in the water. "Kakashi," he said the words slowly, enunciating every single syllable as if rushing them together would then in turn cause him to be sick. "This entire quest has no purpose. It'll be easier if we just buy another fucking clown fish from the store and be done."

"Sasuke," he began with his lazy drawl, "You are a ninja. You will not back out of this mission until every last crevice of this ocean has been searched."

"We aren't even in the water Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura started, hands flailing. "How are we going to even accomplish anything?"

"Think," he said, as if this single word held all the answers of the world.

Before Sasuke and Sakura could ponder to what that statement even meant, Naruto launched back into his speech. "As I was saying before I was oh, so kindly _interrupted_," he sent a pointed look to the Uchiha who, in return, sneered back at him. "In my time spent over the ships' edge, I think I spotted a bit of red skimming just under the ocean." he looked so smug then, as if he actually achieved something.

"_Idiot_," Sasuke hissed, "A clown fish isn't even red. The only thing you did was waste our time with your bull."

It was no surprise when the blonde haired boy looked completely baffled. His face scrunched up in a peculiar way, like he drank a cup of expired milk. "Don't they um...look like clowns? With the curly red hair and everything?"

Sakura and Sasuke sent each other wayward glances. Silently conveying, _let's get our heads together to find Nemo and stop wasting our time with the idiot._

Meanwhile the silver haired ninja sat on a stool rigidly placed beside the sailing pole. His sole black eye watched the events unfold. Whereas the other was hidden with an eye-patch, "To get in the mood of sailing," he had told his students before they loaded onto the ship.

To be honest, there isn't a mission.

Simply put: Sasuke, Sakura and especially _Naruto_ have been getting on his nerves. They were like incessant flies that just wouldn't go _away_. Logically, he decided that since the bell test didn't seem to work, he had to take another measurement. While all the other teams appeared to be working together, his was falling apart. He couldn't even turn his head before hearing the word idiot being shouted out.

If renting a ship with the money from his own pockets would do it, then so be it. Now all that the younglings need to figure out is that there is _no way in hell_they were going to find one specific fish in the vast sea, so the quicker they're going to conclude an ulterior motive.

Cake. So all Kakashi has to do is sit back, relax and watch the rest of the–

"We found it Kakashi-sensei!" a toothily grinning Naruto replied through the net of exotic fish.

His black eye flew wide open in astonishment. "What? How?" Impossible, there was just no way! The damn fish didn't even exist!

"Well," he scratched the top of his spiky head in a typical Naruto manner, "Sakura-chan found a giant net hidden in the storage and Sasuke pinpointed the best location to throw the net overboard and when we pulled it back it was –"

"Just, no. Shut up, just shut up." Kakashi placed his right hand over his forehead. "I don't care anymore. You little monsters just _do _whatever.

"I think I'm going to be sick."


	6. the lion sleeps tonight

**title**; the lion sleeps tonight summary; A lion: scary, giant, yellow cat was sleeping on the poor man's burgundy couch. His. Couch.  
><strong>words<strong>; 1,516 4/9/12 pairings; very subtle sasusaku  
><strong>rating<strong>; T  
><strong>disclaimer<strong>; you know, people would sometimes come up to me and ask, "Are you that young gentleman or ma'am that writes _Naruto_?" sorry, my attempt at humor, I know I, an epic fail.  
><strong>author's<strong> **note**; Erm, I completed this story like a hundred days ago but never got to posting it. Look over the grammatical errors and it's as bad.  
><strong>quote<strong>; "Stop there, and let me correct it, I want to live a life from a new perspective." – Panic! At the Disco

* * *

><p>Naruto blinked.<p>

"That's a lion."

Their client, a grouchy prospering author, rolled his almond shaped eyes at this. "Now that we've established that," he continued, sarcasm practically dripping from his voice, "Can you guys kindly find some way to take it out of my goddamn living room!"

The three team members and their tardy teacher, once again find themselves thrown in an unusual circumstance involving yet another fucked up mission.

A lion: scary, giant, yellow cat was sleeping on the poor man's burgundy couch.

His. Couch.

Their sensei, who _should've_been advising them on their current predicament, was studiously leaning against the paint chipped walls, none-to-subtly giggling like a teenage girl at some heated scene from his dog-eared novel of Icha Icha*.

"Uh, Kakashi-sensei," the idiot hissed with his hands cupped over his mouth, "_Can you perhaps help us_!?"

The silvered haired ninja didn't even waste microscopic amount of energy in replying with a reasonable answer, merely waving his hand in a 'shooing' motion.

Tch. Whatever happened to ninja stamina?

"Okay guys," the young Uchiha prodigy began, "I have a plan."

It failed to be a surprise when Naruto objected to his "plan" before even hearing it. It was also no surprise that seconds after Naruto's declarations of, "No way* I'll ever do that plan dattebayo!" that Sakura intervened with a loud _thump_to the top of his spiky blond hair.

"Shut up, idiot!"

Without fail, Sasuke sent his infamous glare to Naruto before resuming. "What we need to do is take out the lion _now_before it wakes up."

A beat passed. Naruto and Sakura sent each other what-the-fuck glances.

"Well, yeah," Naruto said with a look that spelled, "no shit Sherlock", "But how?"

"Simple," he began, with a roll of his eyes, "We contact animal control."

It was moments later before Sakura regained her equilibrium. _Animal control_? Her mind responded in shock. _Animal contro_l? The only thing that's halting her from erupting like a volcano is the reassuring mantra that Naruto will somehow persuade the stubborn, taciturn boy into compliance.

_Cha_! Her inner cheered, _go Naruto_! A smug smile grew on her face as she fixed her jade gaze to said idiot. _Come on_, her mind silently urged, _put that boy in his place_.

"Eh," Naruto started with a shrug of his shoulders, "That doesn't sound like a bad idea."

And just like _that_, the smug grin disappeared from her face.

"Okay, good." the Uchiha replied, relief evident in his voice. "Anyways it's improper to ask our client to use his phone so I was thinking we could just borrow -"

"Excuse me," Sakura sputtered, "What?"

Not surprisingly, her objection remained unheard and Sasuke plowed on with his "strategy."

" - Kakashi's. We'll tell our client that this case had been switched over to a different district, so we wouldn't be legally obliged to handle it anymore."

The idiot nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, yeah. And once we'll get home we'll _demand_a B-rank mission because after that mission with Haku, which was technically an A-"

"YOU GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONE SECOND!"

Both boys clamped their mouth shut and stared. Their client glared. Kakashi raised an amused eyebrow.

"Okay," she panted, "Why should we contact animal control? We can easily handle this case ourselves." she gestured a slender hand toward the lion. "All we need to do is just... Take it."

The Uchiha just shook his head, scowling. Naruto looked nonplussed. Kakashi returned his attention back to his obsession.

"Sakura, what are we going to do once we take it? Just haul the beast over our shoulders to the zoo and cross our fingers?" if possible, the Uchiha scowled even more. "It's just more logical to call animal control and let_ them_handle the situation."

_Oh_. Well, whatever it'll look stupid if she just easily gave up on her argument. And yeah, it'll bruise her ego too.

"Well it might be easier just to hand the problem over to someone else." she nonchalantly shrugged. "But I just assumed that we would be tough enough to take care of it. Who knows, maybe I'm wrong."

Sasuke continued to shake his head in protest, dark eyes scrunched up in an odd manner, as if it _pained_him to continued.

Che, What an ass.

"Sakura it's not to question 'if we are tough' -"

"Because we are." Naruto none-to-helpfully added.

"But whether it's _logical_ to manually take a fucking _lion _to the nearest zoo, which happens to be 10, maybe 15 miles away."

She loved Sasuke, she really did. But at the moment, she truly wanted to bash his head in. So instead of abusing the boy of her dreams, she diverted her anger to Naruto.

"Ow, what the hell was that for Sakura?" the idiot whined, soothingly rubbing his hand to his head.

"That's precisely why you're not 'tough' enough to handle this mission," she continued like she hadn't head Naruto's interruption at all. "So you try to smooth it over by using excuses like 'logically' contacting animal control."

Said Uchiha put a hand to his head in exasperation. "Sakura," he practically growled, "Do you hear yourself?"

It was obviously a rhetorical question because he continued.

"I think carrying a lion around just to prove how 'tough' we are, is not only pointless but so utterly and completely stupid. If the lion were to wake up, we might not only injure ourselves but innocent civilians around us. I think you* of all people need to understand that, but if you don't I guess that makes you stupid too."

Ouch. A lump formed at the base of her throat, and tears threatened to fall, but she plowed on with her argument. She was tired of being the girl in the background, a shadow of Naruto and Sasuke. For once she would like her opinion to matter, and she would not be so easily shot down from a boy with the longest pole up his ass. "We can take a route that doesn't hold any pedestrians. And with your ninja speed, those 15 miles would take at most five minutes. By the time animal control comes, the lion could already be awake."

"But at least we would be in an enclosed area if the lion were to wake up now. If we were outside, the lion can easily get away." the prodigy pointed out.

"That's only _if_the lion wakes -"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes in response to this. "There's no if," he interrupted, "the lion _will_wake up. The lion will most likely awake if we even touch it. There's no way we can tree hop* through town without it waking up."

She, being just as stubborn as him, ignored reason. "The lion isn't supposed to wake up at our client's house anyway. It's supposed to be gone."

He clapped his hands in mock praise. "That brings us back to my first suggestion of contacting animal control."

At this point, Naruto zoned out of their heated argument. At first, they held his maximum attention - with him rarely ever hearing Sakura speak against* Sasuke, their entire debate was amusing. Fresh. New. But already their argument was going back into a circle, and now he was bored and annoyed.

He slyly scooted his body over to Kakashi. "Should we do something?" he asked, jerking his thumb to his two comrades, silently indicating the source of the problem.

Kakashi peered up, and raised an eyebrow. "You guys still haven't done anything about the dead lion?"

"No, I wasn't talking about the lion. I was talking about Sasuke and - Wait. What?" because it was _Naruto_, it took a while to process this information. "It was dead?" he _tried_to whisper, but it inevitably ended up sounding like a normal persons speaking voice. "We thought it was just sleeping."

Kakashi snorted, and then licked the tip of his finger to turn another page. "With all the noise you guys were making, don't you think it's weird that the lion hasn't woken?"

With both his teammates screaming at each other, it's a wonder it hasn't clicked. But since its _Naruto_, that can be easily reasoned with the fact that he's stupid. "Shouldn't we tell them?" he discreetly asked his sensei in his non-whisper voice.

Kakashi flipped another page before answering. "We should let them figure it out themselves."

And for once, Naruto couldn't help but agree.

* * *

><p><em>Fin.<em>


End file.
